Wow... It's been over a year since I've stumbled over here. Time flies when you just don't give a fuck. 

Well, regardless, I had a bit of an epiphany yesterday while I was driving. We've lost our heroes. I don't mean as a society, I mean as a race. We, as humans, simply no longer have champions of legendary status. These have been supplanted with worthless icons, literally achieving social elevation for nothing, of who's lives we come to know every stupid detail.

There used to be legends, stories, and tall tales. Folk songs sang of people who did great things. Some stories were embellished, some were over-the-top, and some were just totally bullshit. These tales, though, were important to the people who told them. They sat around the fire and amazed each other with fables of ordinary people, attributed with a god-like status for things they may or may not have done.

For instance, consider Beowulf. Now it's just a book about vikings that people are forced to read in college literature classes but, long ago, the tales in that book were passed on as oral tradition. Tales of the man called Beowulf, who heroically slays the monster and performs superhuman feats, were talked of around the ancient equivalent of the office water cooler. Parts were dropped, pieces were added, details were fudged. The only real constant is the assertion that there was a man named Beowulf who, at some place and time, did things you can only imagine.

That's a real hero story and there's plenty out there, if you look. The Epic of Gilgamesh, the story of Jesus, the quest of King Arther and his knights, Robin Hood, and King Leonidas at the Battle of Thermopylae. America even once had its own various folk heroes, both fictional and non, like Paul Bunyan, John Henry, Johnny Appleseed, and Molly Pitcher. When it comes right down to it, we no longer have these types of heroes.

We simply don't revere heroic actions anymore. I looked up "hero" on yahoo answers and there were several questions asking who our modern, epic heroes are. Answers included Opera Oprah, Obama, and motherfucking ARAGORN from the Lord of the Rings. Our heroes have been replaced with shit. Instead of stories of selfless, superhuman acts we're bombarded with what sports stars scored the most points, what television or movie actor was spotted somewhere, or what politician was caught with his penis where it didn't belong. We're so focused on the terrible and stupid things that happen in the world, we don't give two shits about when someone goes above and beyond to do something great. Sure, our war heroes get a medal but do they get remembered? Will someone be strumming a guitar 20 years from now, singing about that soldier who recently won the Medal of Honor? I can't even remember his name NOW, and I just read about it last week or so.

No, instead of heroes we simply adore whatever figures we get the most face-time with. These aren't people with an air of mystery about them, their deeds, and even their existence. These people are sprawled across our TV's and computer screens. They infect our homes with their antics and their "tweets". Yahoo's frontpage has all the important news in small typeface way down the page, but in big bold letters is the story about Kim Kardashian and what she wore to a NY fashion show. Did Kim Kardashian strangle a bear with her own two hands? Did she save a commuter bus from driving off a bridge? Will there ever be folk tales of how she put out a fire at an orphanage? No. She's famous for nothing, because that's what people want.

People no longer want heroes that do incredible things, because incredible things are bad. They give us something to want to live up to that we can't or won't. Extraordinary is frowned upon. We degrade that which is truly special because we're not. We want true greatness obliterated so the crap we DO manage to achieve looks that much better.

Screw the guy who prevents a terrible, violent crime because he was prepared to do the right thing at the right time. That's what cops are for. We're too busy unlocking achievements on our X-boxes.

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